7pm. Brring Brring. Hello. Do you sell live lobster?
– No. We only sell frozen.
OK. Sorry, bye bye.
7.05pm. Brring Brring. Hello. Do you sell live lobster?
– You just asked me. In fact, although we don’t normally sell live lobster, we had a shipment in today and we were going to cook them tomorrow. I suppose I could pull some out for you. When did you want them?
[Without a trace of irony.] They are for dinner tonight.
– Hmm. And how were you going to get them?
I’ll send a driver.
– Where are you?
I am in Surrey. Where are you?
– Also in Surrey.
Hmmm. Before we go on, can you confirm that at 7o’clock tonight you decided you wanted live lobster for dinner tonight. Without the slightest idea of the challenge you were undertaking.
– What challenge? I found them didn’t I? How much are they?